the "cut"

the " long awaited" hair cut.  It is A LOT shorter...especially in the back and front!!!!
Crosby likes it...after the initial crinkle of the nose when he first saw it.  Susan ROCKED it!   If you need a hairdresser she is amazing!!!!  Thomas-Blake hair studio off Moore Dr. in Lexington....just sayin!

ANYWAY...i did not cry.  ; )  neither did Cros.  He woke up the next morning and said ' my hair grew back"......not sure what he was thinking...but glad he likes it.

Also very thankful for his AMAZING kindergarten teacher that defused ANY and ALL "issues" with kids saying it looked different or anything like that.  so ALL WAS WELL!!!!!

I think the "new look" makes his "big brown marble" eyes look so handsome....but, that is a mama speaking of course.

ps.  got Bren's hair layered and cut as well : )  i get to go at the end of May....now, if we could ONLY get Em's hair to G-R-O-W!!!!

to cut or not to cut....that is the question

so, i have been wrestling with Crosby's hair lately- not literally (although there are plenty of tangles in his mane)
I just LOVE his long curly hair.  Yes, I said LONG- however i have trimmed it...even had my sweet friend Susan trim it up and thin it out a time or two.
However, when October 2007 began with Chemo and his hair began falling out 2 weeks later, and we shaved it....then he went "baldy" on us and his LONG BEAUTIFUL eyelashes fell out.....well, it is HARD HARD HARD for a mama to want to cut it back down.....

PLUS....his hair came in GORGEOUS!!!!!

trust me, many would PAY to have hair like his!!!!  ; )
anyway....
He has embraced his "long" hair, and well, it kind of fits his "happy go lucky" personality!
Plus, he is taking ice-hockey skating lessons so after watching the NCAA Hockey Nat'l Championship Game...and those UMD guys had hair like Crosby's.....it seemed wrong to cut it.
BUT, lately boys he randomly passes think he is a girl (and since we don't live in SoCal this happens semi-often).  It has been getting in his eyes at school when he needs to stay in a line, and well, as much as I adore it and he does too, it may need to be taken down a bit and dare I say- BANGS!  (shudder).  I am NOT a fan of BANGS....so this is a BIG STEP for me.
However, as my sweet sensitive almost seven year old told me he wants to look like Shaun White (image from internet site - see below) , i hurt a bit on the inside....as I know he does.

 however, he may not be ready for cool guy headbands and whatnot- that may need to wait until High School.  Plus....as many a mom tells me NOT to cut it, many a dad thinks TO cut it.  *grandparents included i think*
SO....I put the call in to Susan.  he has an appointment for next week.  WHen i told him today at swim lessons that next week he won't be pushing his hair from his eyes the lifeguard gasped..."PLEASE DON"T CUT THAT HAIR"....but i actually convinced myself in telling her why- and I felt OKAY about it.
So....there will be SEVERAL inches coming off and his "big brown marble" eyes will be fully visible again soon *without a headband of any sort*.
I do hope it stays curly ; )  I told Cros it was a mark of God's faithfulness in his life....and somehow defines him a bit.....but does not make up WHO he is.....
he smiled.
So...pray for me....as silly as that sounds, but I think it will be an emotional day..... remembering back to my little guy with no hair....to see the lush curls that are a testimony of God's miraculous healing in his life.....it will be  hard.  But, it is only hair.  it too will grow : ) and we will continue to give thanks!!!!!
and yes, i AM going to bring a ziploc to pick up some hair....
and then Susan will need to bring out the ShopVac for the rest ; )

FRIENDS

WOW!!!!
today i have been grinning from ear to ear.  I was busy all week CLEANING CLEANING CLEANING (and nope, my house is STILL less than perfect)....for my COLLEGE ROOMMATE and her family visiting from South Carolina.

i have not seen Robyn in 4 years (while i was prego with Emery) and they were super duper generous by giving us an AMAZING deal on their minivan (so we would have room for 3 kids).....mind you, they have FIVE and needed to upgrade to a Suburban.

We have been through the ringers apart .....she has Lyme disease....my namesake and their youngest Meredith had open heart surgery ....Cros had cancer....I had a baby with Crazy allergies....one of her twins has Lyme disease....yea, CRAZINESS.....they have moved twice since we seen each other....and well, the list goes on....

HOWEVER, it seems like we were JUST in Williamsburg, VA last year....we picked up RIGHT where we left off (just a few gray hairs, a few more kids, a few more lbs (me) or less (her) and husbands too boot!  i just love her to pieces....maybe it was Physical Chemistry lab that cemented our friendship....or her putting up with my "being mer in college' self...she earned crowns in heaven for that.  but, mostly i believe it is our relationship with Jesus that has kept us close and praying for one another THRU all the craziness in our life! ; )

I treasure her.  I LOVE her kids and I hardly know them....but seeing her oldest twins and Brendley walking around the block tonight warmed my heart.  Seeing Eli and Cros playing the wii like they have known one another forever made me smile.  To see Caroline hanging out in our living room brightened my night and seeing meredith and emery being SO VERY SIMILAR (see last post)....just made me GRIN from ear to ear over and over and over!

having a house full of 12 people.....priceless.

best. gift. ever.

yea, we may not be doing much with our Chemistry degrees from William and Mary that we studied and studied and studied for....but it was SO worth it for our friendship to become what it is today!

Now, we just need to start planning our trip to South Carolina soon~~~~

Life with Emery

THIS little bundle is full of FIRE (could be a bit of the redhead in her) or maybe just since she is #3?~  Who knows?  I attribute MOST of her craziness to being toted around while an infant to all of Crosby's crap (yes, i can now call it crap).....  She was SO amazing...slept great, traveled amazingly well, went to anyone (minus poor Jamie E who came to help at the hospital in Cincy ), dealt with hanging out in a car seat for hours and traveling up and down hospital halls and 75 N and S too often.  SO....we all KNEW that one day she might be.....

- well- Emery!  CRAZY, fun, determined to wear BOOTS everywhere, opinionated, lives life on the edge, allergic to EVERYTHING (thus carries an epi-pen at all times),  keeps everyone in line, runs EVERYWHERE, loves to dance hip-hop and is pretty good (must be the Philly in her), Bounces like Tigger and well, we continue to PRAY that she would use her powers for good and not evil ; )

Right now she is SPRINTING through the house to put on PJ outfit #3!  hysterical!

.here is a glimpse into my diva rocker Emery!

Yes....she needs to have on boots....cowboy, rain or whatever.  Yes, usually she is wearing a skirt or dress...and usually she is getting into "something"..... but that is what makes this curly haired wonder- well....WONDERFUL!!!!

So thankful that she is in our life.  She was our 3rd and last c-section baby : )  She spent several LONG days in the NICU as the largest babe in there (born our smallest child at 8lbs 11oz)....she was 2 months old when Cros was diagnosed.....after amazing Speech Therapy with sweet Dana at First Steps she finally began speaking around 2 1/2yrs...and THANKFULLY was healed from her kidney bladder reflux after taking Bactrim since she was 1 yr old.......and well....we LOVE LOVE LOVE her to pieces.  Maybe she reminds me a bit of me?  ( i do LOVE shoes) who knows!  She usually walks around with bruised knees from jumping off of chairs or sofas or beds.  She also has a fair share of bruises on her head from bumping into something that is head level (shelves, chairs, countertops, etc)....but what a JOY she is!

love ya Em...please don't ever change (well....feel free to grow out of your allergies of course!)

SCANXIETY

well, it is A LOT easier to post about Crosby's scans -   AFTER the good report....but even though we get farther and farther away from the entire CHEMO journey...it is never far from the mind


Cros had scans last Tuesday.  The usual drill.  Mama getting all teary eyed and falling asleep in his room praying for him and playing with his shaun white curly hair. setting the alarm EARLY so we don't oversleep *even if mama doesn't really sleep* and Bret whisking Bren to school early with Cros NOT jumping out in the drop off lane since they are off to UK.  I try to get ready and get our fashionista Em ready for Tuesday preschool *so thankful his scans are on the day she HAS preschool*.


OF COURSE, my little 3 yr old opinionated dresser and lover of dresses had trouble figuring out WHAT she was wearing on Tuesday....MAMA was nearly going crazy...it is hard enough getting HER to school on time thinking of her lil guy getting sedated...but wanting to make sure she was THERE when he awoke.  Yes, Bret is the parent of choice by all parties for MRI sedation.  mama can't take the whirring machines, the kicking during the blood access or the magic milk drinking....SO that is Daddy's job!  ; )


However, this morning it was worse.  Cros is now able to understand about scans and was excited he got to "play his ds" all day. hmmmmm what is wrong with this picture?!  He also gets excited about breakfast at McDonalds *since he knows he can't eat or drink until AFTER scans".  thus, you see the scans - hurry and wake up- drink some juice- carry to car- drive quickly thru campus to get to McD's before 1030 RUSH.  Since his scans were at 8am and they take about 45minutes...then wakeup....we usually cut it close *especially since things are NEVER on time*.


SO....mama was on edge....eldest child remarks how she wishes she could have McD's for breakfast while chomping on a donut and somehow murmurs "no fair" in the midst.  Yep, i about freaked...."NO FAIR????? yea, no fair Cros had CANCER!!!!"....but I think i kept that in my head......


SO en route to drop off Em at Building Blocks *late of course*....she blurts out "when i get cancer can i get McDonalds Breakfast"????


oh yes,  crazy-ville for sure.


needless to say after dropping her off in her classroom i bee-lined to my mini-van and proceeded to CRY all the way down Winchester Rd. to the hospital.  why did i think makeup was a good idea today????


ANYWAY....remarkedly i arrived, puffy eyes and all, minutes before they called us back.....


Cros always makes me get weepy with things stuck to his chest, monitors beeping and crap shoved up his nose.....


But, he woke up grumpy, gulped down his juice and we carted our sleepy boy to the car and made it for breakfast by 10:22am ; )  nice.  He DEVOURED 3 hotcakes and sausage patty plus a juice in minutes and we were back at clinic by 11am.  


Of course, there are too many stinkin kids in the Oncology Clinic....one is too many...so when ALL the rooms are booked...never any fun.  CANCER DOES SUCK.  So, as old pro's, we got our chest xray orders and headed there....Cros had on a skully cap with his curls spilling out and ALL the ladies in xray love it!  He did GREAT and we were back upstiars to play ds and wait for Dr. R.  If you read my caringbridge site you will know he FREAKED ME OUT this time around.  I will spare the details - but the radiologist did not read his scan tuesday (GRRRRRRRRRR) and one crazy mama later we found out Wednesday morning ALL IS WElL!!!!!


super duper thankful!!!! yes, i cried tears of JOY while Emery kept telling me to "calm down".  funny now.


anyway, poor Dr. R apologized to Bret two times that he was not sensitive to my nerves...but the funny thing was, at Academic Team Challenge on Saturday...with 1900 Fayette COunty school kids at the local HS, and Bret and I switching cars and kids.....Emery and I run into Dr. R in a hallway in the HS!  We were the ONLY people in THAT HALLWAY.  poor guy, he probably wished he could RUN AWAY from crazy mom  ; )  Yes, poor Romanian Oncologist- he apologized again.  I felt bad...but he was super nice and well, thankfully Crosby is STILL CANCER FREE and praying he will ALWAYS be.  Mama is still crazy and will probably always be, because he is my boy.  our miracle.  ; )


SO....back to Tuesday.  the good dr. and bret and I were counting up his chart and it looks like we are beginning year FOUR off treatment.  he ended 2/28/08 and here we are in march of 2011.  So, from what we can tell....we are in year four and scans are SIX months apart.  scarey but good.  *unless my millions of readers calculate that differently of course -let me know*


SO....scans good. : )  praises abounding : )  thankful for much.


i may just post on my fashionista 3 yr old next.....i know figured out where she gets her crazy-ness from......

Pride cometh before the fall....

I have been wanting to blog for the past 2 weeks...funny things from the kids, sitcom material for sure, the long awaited toilet/ceiling stuff....but life has gotten CRAZY....lots of stuff with work...projects at school....STREP for the first time ever in our home : (  which relates to this post.

I got a bit prideful.  When anyone's kids got Strep, i would say , "  yea, mine never get it"  and smile inside : )  woohoo.  Well, that stopped on Presidents Day.  Crosby complained of a sore throat.  Drainage of course...since MY kids NEVER get Strep.  FINALLY, upon waking up 2 times from a great sleep, it was to the DR we go.  Bret actually took BOTH lil ones, since Emery had been coughing and had nose crud since she went OFF Bactrim for her kidney reflux issues the end of January.  Well, BOTH came home with Amoxicillin.  BOO HISS.

now, yes, Strep is RUNNING RAMPANT all over the schools.  BUT MY KIDS NEVER GET IT!!! but they did.  Now, Cros has NO ADNOIDS OR TONSILS.....*freaky aside: his tonsils are growing back oddly enough* ....so how can he get strep?....well, apparently he can.  and yes, i DID go to CRAZY VILLE......maybe his cancer is back....i tend to go there and back WHEN scans are approaching...and guess what? they are!!!  March 8th to be exact.

SO in addition to using lots of dots and uppercase letters in my writing, you will find i have to talk my self off the proverbial ledge OFTEN!  I did this week....lots of praying and NOT eating M&M's *my ALL TIME favorite stress food*

   Maybe  this is because an adorable 2nd grader (who was held back from Brendley's class one          year, so yes, i know her)....thought i was pregnant.  WHICH, I AM NOT!!!!  and not planning to be.  So, that has helped with the no-no's on the candy shell yummy food from the devil.  

SO, to wrap up my week....not much sleep, praying hard Crosby will always be cancer-free, talking myself from the ledge, remembering 2 doses of medicine daily for 2 kids, buying some bday gifts for various parties my kids are going to, dealing w/ Bren having a first time ever anxiety attack (result of my craziness no doubt) and several meetings that have consumed WAAAAAAY too much time.......and trying to just press on and not worry about Crosby's scans or thoughts that Emery may/may not have cancer too.  or heck, me!

ah, the life i lead.....crazy.  BUT< as my college roommate told me....it keeps me close to God, b/c if things were easy, would I be?!  I would hope...but realistically, maybe not.

So, if you think of me in this coming week....PRAY for my mind, pray for our kids and remember to enjoy everything that comes your way.....b/c life can really be a SITCOM!  : )

weekend away.....with 300+ college students

ahhhhh home again : )
as our pediatrician said on Friday - when i took the "one who deals with it all" to the Dr....b/c she was diagnosed with STREP from her classmates (and guess what, it wasn't)-   that i deserved a medal to spend a weekend with college students away with my family....i just laughed....b/c i love it....WE love it : )

HOWEVER...this morning at 730am.....did NOT love it!  we had THREE, yes THREE, crying children...they were tired and grumpy and generally NOT FUN to deal with ....but, thankfully they turned it around *and slept a bit* on the mini-bus ride home, that we managed to have all in bed happily by 830pm!

The retreat was awesome....great speaker....great fellowship....great seeing our kids rekindle friendships from staff kids from around the region....but what i HATE is packing food for lil Em *the one with the food allergies*.....poor child exists off of microwaveable bacon, soy yogurt, rice chips and rice cakes plus many fruits and rice milk in single serve juice boxes for 2 days....bless her heart!  oh yes, she also ate gluten free pretzels and applesauce and fruit snacks...but DANG....it is NOT easy!

 I have to pack up grocery sacks of food, request a dorm with a fridge, and run back and forth to make sure she is fed when everyone else is eating....and making sure she doesn't touch anyone or anything that she is allergic to, or have anyone feed her for that matter!  SHE did famously and i am SO thankful....another successful trip with out an epi-pen use.  However, the funniest line of all was lil girl telling a LARGE UK LINEMAN that she has "jello birthday cakes".  He could not understand and thus we broke it down for him.....thankfully the girl rolls with it....tells people and is VERy self-aware of the situation- for THAT, i am eternally grateful!

 We actually go to the allergist for the dreaded PRICK test THIS FRIDAY!  not looking forward to that one bit...but as she said "keep your fingers crossed but don't hold your breath" that she might grow out of some allergies....  So, we are crossing our fingers but mostly praying that she will : )  We are SUPER thankful that her kidney bladder reflux is GONE : )  so, we are hopeful!  If not, we continue to press on, with our routine of "travel foods" and a great lil girl who makes the best of it!!!!

Thanks for listening .....my cute bus-drivin hubby hopes to fix our hole in the ceiling tomorrow....so maybe i will actually post on that ALREADY!!!

seize the day....